I scan news.  There is rarely an instant where I read the whole article because most of it doesnt hold my interest.  I scan a lot of news sources.  I should stop doing that.  I should limit myself to National Geographic, and possibly Readers Digest (large print version).  All other news sources give too much information.  I have outgrown the need for too much information.

Weekly, there is a news report of an 11th grade teacher having illegal relations with a student.  Really?  I think back to my 11th grade teachers and think about how scarred I would be had that happened to me.  I was more worried about getting a date for friday nite with an age appropriate female.  I just wish they would hush these kind of reports up and not put them on national news.  I need to know if it is going to rain, if the wind is going to blow and if the price of oil has gone down or gone up.  Pretty much everything else is fluff.

My ideal newspaper would be the front page, containing a weather forecast, a price index of fossil fuels, a listing of who died and the rest of the paper should be filled with recipes that old people can easily make and enjoy.  I dont clip coupons so they can leave those out.  All car ads can vanish because I already know where to buy a car and the prices listed are never the same when you get there so that is wasted reading time.  Just good recipes, dammit.  And no recipes containing any miracle grain product of the ancient Peruvian indians that was suddenly reestablished from seeds found in a clay pot inside a burial mound.  I am not an ancient Incan and could care less what they ate.  I like mashed potaotes.  Besides, there are no ancient incans left so what they ate couldnt have been that good for them.  They should have been eating good ole sawmill gravy over some biscuits and maybe there would still be a few of them around.  Oh, and another thing, I dont care how much mercury is in tuna fish.  I cant eat enough tuna in the time I have left on this earth to make a difference in my mercury content.  I dont take fish oil pills because they make you smell like fish for the rest of the day.  I can get all the fish oil I need from a can of sardines eaten on a cracker.

Chuy