I just read on the internet that we have all been either cleaning too much, not cleaning enough or cleaning ourselves in the wrong places.  Here I am marching boldly towards the age of 71 and find out that I may be unclean.  That is shocking.

Bacterial soap apparently removes not only bad germs but good ones also.  I guess you need some germs hanging around on your skin in order to fight off the cooties that will surely give you fits if you didnt have the good germs to defend you.  That makes sense, kinda.  I am at a loss as to what to use to keep the good ones alive and kill the bad ones.  I had always liked Lifebouy soap because it floated.  I had to get another brand when we deep-sixed our tub in favor of a locker room size shower.  You dont need a floating soap in a shower.  Lava soap is a real cleanser but is a bit gritty and will leave a lasting impression  if used in certain areas.  Camay sounds nice but it is hard as super clue to get off after you have lathered up.  It just seems like it stays on you for longer than I care to have soap on my body.  Soap made from goats milk is all the rage at the farmers markets but I wonder if  that is all that good in warm weather.  The smell of soured milk is not one of my all time favorite smells and I fear that in South Texas, goats milk soap would go bad faster than a rookie wide receiver in the NFL.

The article I read named your navel as the number 1 dirty spot on your bod.  I can see where they are coming from but for the life of me can’t see what I can do to help the situation.  I think if you are an outie, well you have got a step up on us who are innies.  I am not sure how you clean your navel other than soap up a finger, give it a couple of jabs and then go on to other areas.  Apparently it takes more attention to detail than I have been giving mine.  I guess you could pour it full of shampoo but feel that you might blow bubbles every time you breathe deep for the rest of the day.  An alcohol swab somehow doesn’t sound intelligent for some reason. I am in a quandary over this one.

Cavemen and native americans probably just bathed when thy accidentally had to wade across a creek.  I don’t do that much creek wading.  I guess my only option is to continue to do what I have been doing and hope that I am not damaging this temple I call my body.

Chuy the unclean