Chuy has been officially passed by time. It is a good thing that I am in the last quarter of the game of life. I am not sure Chuy can stand much more of this.

I went to a sunday school party Saturday night and was sent to buy ice. Another fella and I went to the local gas station. When we entered we saw a lady, late 20’s I would guess, standing at the counter. I can only guess that Crisco lard was somehow involved in her putting on her pants for the evening. Her legs, and there were a lot of the two of them, were stuffed, and I do mean stuffed into a pair of boots that rose up past her knees and had 9″ stilleto heels. I am sure each of you have heard the expression “muffin top”. I could only think “muffin tin” cause there was more hanging over than one muffin cup would have ever held. Tip for baking, Never fill a muffin cup more than 1/2 full or things are gonna get messy. Her dress however was not the main thing Don and I noticed. She had a small girl with her, age 4-5, dressed in sequin strapped high heeled shoes, a white crocheted dress, lipstick, eye shadow, and mascara. Ears pierced, not once but thrice. My question is, when the little girl comes home at age 12 and tells her mother that she is going to have her own baby, what is the mother gonna think. Will she know where she went wrong? I doubt it.

Saturday morning at the mail center I saw a young man, age 10-12, that had his left ear pierced. I asked him if he was going to grow up to be a pirate and his grandmother looked at me like I had assaulted the child. Question to the parents of that child. When he gets grown and chops up a few folks with a pirate sword, what are you going to think? Where did you go wrong? I will tell you, it was the moment you bought that kid an earring or possibly the moment you bought him the latest video game entitled “The Blood sucking zombies from Albuquerque vs. the United States Marine Corp, rated XXX for violence, mayhem and some nudity. I have a vivid picture of what would have happened had I gone home and asked Homer and Lou Cowan if I could have my ear pierced. I would have been able to write a book entitled ” What it is like while you are in a coma” or ” What I missed during my teen years while in a coma”.

At the party Saturday night i was introduced to chocolate vodka. Chocolate vodka!!!!. When and why did they invent such a thing? Had it been around during the late 50’s, early 60’s I know several people who would now be living along the banks of the Pecos river, picking up cans for money to buy more chocolate vodka. Hell, we thought sloe gin was the best thing since the invention of snow cone syrup. What do you mix chocolate vodka with? I can only assume you mix it with chocolate milk. What dip goes best with a “chocolate bomb”?, well, silly, a chocolate doughnut.

Again I say, I have been passed by time. I am more than content to sit in my bedroom, watching the food channel, occasionally shuffling to the kitchen for a handfull of oreo cookies and now, a chocolate bomb.

Chuy