I just read on the internet that we have all been either cleaning too much, not cleaning enough or cleaning ourselves in the wrong places.  Here I am marching boldly towards the age of 71 and find out that I may be unclean.  That is shocking.

Bacterial soap apparently removes not only bad germs but good ones also.  I guess you need some germs hanging around on your skin in order to fight off the cooties that will surely give you fits if you didnt have the good germs to defend you.  That makes sense, kinda.  I am at a loss as to what to use to keep the good ones alive and kill the bad ones.  I had always liked Lifebouy soap because it floated.  I had to get another brand when we deep-sixed our tub in favor of a locker room size shower.  You dont need a floating soap in a shower.  Lava soap is a real cleanser but is a bit gritty and will leave a lasting impression  if used in certain areas.  Camay sounds nice but it is hard as super clue to get off after you have lathered up.  It just seems like it stays on you for longer than I care to have soap on my body.  Soap made from goats milk is all the rage at the farmers markets but I wonder if  that is all that good in warm weather.  The smell of soured milk is not one of my all time favorite smells and I fear that in South Texas, goats milk soap would go bad faster than a rookie wide receiver in the NFL.

The article I read named your navel as the number 1 dirty spot on your bod.  I can see where they are coming from but for the life of me can’t see what I can do to help the situation.  I think if you are an outie, well you have got a step up on us who are innies.  I am not sure how you clean your navel other than soap up a finger, give it a couple of jabs and then go on to other areas.  Apparently it takes more attention to detail than I have been giving mine.  I guess you could pour it full of shampoo but feel that you might blow bubbles every time you breathe deep for the rest of the day.  An alcohol swab somehow doesn’t sound intelligent for some reason. I am in a quandary over this one.

Cavemen and native americans probably just bathed when thy accidentally had to wade across a creek.  I don’t do that much creek wading.  I guess my only option is to continue to do what I have been doing and hope that I am not damaging this temple I call my body.

Chuy the unclean

November is a bountiful month.  It is the month of my daughter’s birth, as well as that of my father, it is the month of elections and also the month that we give thanks for the things that have been bestowed upon us.  I love November.  In south Texas it starts to get cool and that is a real blessing. We have much to be thankful for.

Thanksgiving dinner is, by far, my favorite meal.  I can’t remember ever eating any dish prepared for Thanksgiving dinner that wasnt something delicious.  Those Pilgrims had their acts together and started some real traditions.  Thank you Pilgrims.  I can eat turkey and dressing any time of the year and love left over turkey sandwiches.  I like dressing patties sautéed in butter until they are brown on both sides.  They are as fattening as eating a bon-bon, but who cares.  I keep cranberry sauce in the cupboard all year and serve almost every time we have pork or turkey.  You can even use it to slather on a good biscuit if you get in a bind.

Yesterday we received the Thanksgiving issue of Williams-Sonoma catalog.  This is a cooks answer to the annual Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog.  W/S has some things in their catalog that people only dream about.  No one ever has enough kitchen space for all the things one wants from this catalog.  They have pots, pans, dinnerware, recipes, wine parings, they have it all, including food.  They have Maple Bourbon turkey glaze, butternut squash puree, they have pecan pie in a jar, and these are only a few of their offerings.  Last year my children bought me some of their frozen croissants and I can vouch that they are about as good as it gets.  Considered as living high on the hog.  Last night I looked at a  selection of prepared meats that they are offering and was totally in awe.  They looked professionally prepared and I’m sure they were.  However, a Crown roast pricing out at  a mere $ 37.50 per pound was a bit much.  You can rest assured that if you come to my house for Thanksgiving dinner and you see a W/S Snake River Farms Kurobuta Crown Roast sitting on the table you damned well better not take seconds.  Leftovers are going straight to the freezer to have for next year.  That little piece of meat will be sliced thinner than an Arbys roast beef sandwich.  You can fill up on garlic mashed potatoes.  My wife asked if I saw anything in the catalog that I might want for Christmas, I am hard to buy for, and I advised no.  That was somewhat of a little fib.  I saw a lot I would like to have but have no place to put them.  I am currently storing some of my cooking gadgets in the garage and in my camping storeroom.  I am afraid to ask for more toys.  I guess she could buy me some Shellfish Firmaggio in Scallop shells, they are only $ 19.00 apiece and look as if they could be gulped down like an oyster on the half-shell.  Lord, wonder who eats food like that?

I hope each of you have a great November.  I hope you buy your turkey early and thaw it properly.  I love going to the grocery store and watching people, some obviously from other countries, buying a frozen turkey on the eve of Thanksgiving.  I always wonder what those people actually eat the next day.

Gary

I love reading the news each morning.  There are a plethora of news stories each morning that lead me to believe that man, as a species, is moving to the edge.

A lady in Australia sued for worker’s compensation, claiming to not being able to work anymore, because of having sex in a motel room while she was on a business trip.  It seems that the light fixture in the ceiling fell and did injury to her nose and mouth.  She developed depression and was unable to work any more.  I can’t even tell you how my imagination went into overdrive when I read this.  Who doesn’t know that having sex while hanging from a chandelier could possibly cause some problems.  Anyone knows that if your are going to do that you have to make changes to the hanging device for the light fixture.  You have to beef up the chains or something.  Lower courts found that she was eligible for compensations but a higher court has overturned the findings. 

On a more serious note, a lady in our town took her family to a pizzaeria.  One of those that has more games than pizza choices.  When she stopped all doors of the SUV burst open and kids emerged in a flurry.  One of her children, under the age that requires being strapped in a car seat, jumped out and ran for the front door.  Unfortunately the child was run over by a car and died.  The child had not been strapped in the manner required by law.  The mother has sued the pizza joint, the owner of the shopping center where the pizza joint is located, and the company that paved the parking lot.  Has sued for a staggering sum of $ 100 million dollars plus.  They have scheduled a pretrail hearing to determine which of the parties might have some degree of responsibillity for this trajedy.  I hope I dont even have to tell you who I might assign responsibility to.  I will give you a hint, it wouldnt be that guy who paved the parking lot: for failing to put in a speed bump.

Each of us can probably come up with a multitude of such stories but we seem to never do anything about such travesties of justice. 

With regards to the lady having sex while hanging from the light fixture, I would be inclined to grant her a couple of weeks of benefits but only if she gave full details of exactly what she was doing and why she felt her actions were related to her being on a business trip.  I have been on so many business trips that I dont own a calculator that could add to a number that would cover those trips.  I can tell you that even with my imagination I cant come up with a reason that I would think such actions would be job related.

Gary

I am old enough to remember when telephones were composed of “party lines” and have seen things advance beyond my limited ability to understand exactly what is going on.  I have no concept of the “cloud” where more and more of our data is “stored”.  Where is it and what are they doing with it and who makes sure my info is there when I need it.  These are questions that would drive me bonkers if I spent more than a little time thinking about the concept.  I do, however, think I understand that social media can be dangerous if used by the wrong people for the wrong reasons.  We recently saw on the news where 2 young girls had been instrumental in the death of a fellow student based on their bullying over a social media source.  That means we have to be more careful of what we do on the internet.

Politics and religion are two areas where the internet should be off-limits. Political views should best be discussed at the coffee shop where, if I didn’t agree, I could at least punch you in the nose.  My options are limited if I read your views on the particular social media that I am using.  Political viewpoints are like  a rectum, everyone has one but we don’t necessarily  want to see or discuss them. 

I may be guilty from time to time of getting close to the point of being political but I try not to discuss parties.  I most like to discuss the follies of man.  I like to point out how we the people have shot ourselves in the foot.  Man is a foolish enough animal without making up Dr Seuss type beings. 

Just my thoughts on a serious subject.  There wont be many of these blogs so keep reading.

Gary

I havent had much to do this week so have spent some time yesterday watching the broadcast of a senate hearing on the Obamacare website.  I havent seen as much backpedaling since the time I went crawfishing down on the river.  Hell, one of the computer executives was pointing the finger so fast I looked twice to make sure that she wasnt an octopus.  “It wasnt our company;s fault, we knew it wasnt gonna work but we didn’t tell anyone because it wasnt our place to tell anyone that the thing we were being paid to do wasnt gonna work”.  However, it was her company’s position that they had probably earned their slice of the $ 295 billion that had been paid to various programming contractors to provide a program that would allow multiple millions of taxpayers the opportunity to sign up for insurance that they were being forced to buy, whether they could afford to buy it or not.  Prez has said that his program is going to save the country vast amounts of money. I hope so, but as of today. they are $ 295 large in the hole.  And counting.  Oh, they have asked insurance industry executives to come in and help get this program straightened out and running.  This sounds like a three-way to me and guess who is gonna be on the bottom?

I ought not to be so negative about things but sometimes it is hard to see the recipe for lemonade made with the lemons that we are provided with.  I want things to work right here in “Happy Valley” but it seems that we always manage to shoot ourselves in the foot.  The Germans are now mad at us for spying on them and listening to their phone conversations.  They are probably not the only ones we have been listening too.  I can see the reason behind listening to the phone conversations of some of the Afghanis or
Al Ouida or Rev Al Sharpton,  but we can’t possible get much from eavesdropping on the President of Bora Bora of Fiji.  Maybe the NSA ought to limit their listening to daylight hours and hang up if the conversation turns personal.

Its been an exciting week and I am glad it is almost over.  I am going to spend some quality time this weekend just contemplating things on a higher plane. I may even go fishing as the lake is catching some water.  It is easier to think pure and lofty thoughts while you have a fishing rod in your hand.

Chuy the exhausted

One of the things that I do each and every day is to read the news quips or headlines that are shown by AOL as being the day’s news.  Sometimes I am entertained by these news stories and sometimes I just have to go outside and cuss at my oak tree.  I use the oak tree as a sounding board simply because he doesn’t talk back and if I curse outside the neighbors can get a sense of the mood I am in for the day.

I just read where the estate of a woman killed in a Cracker Barrel Restaurant is suing the restaurant because they failed to properly protect her from her estranged husband.  Apparently she and her children were eating in the restaurant when the husband came in and showed some degree of displeasure with the situation.  He left, came back armed and killed the whole bunch.  He was subsequently killed by the responding authorities.  I feel sorry for the family and feel that the husband probably got what he deserved.  However, even with my imagination, which is an active one, I , for the life of me, cannot understand why the restaurant would be considered responsible.  I can see where a person might think they were liable for tooth decay in children because of the displays of GOO-Goo bars, Mallow bars, etc but how are they going to protect someone from being shot by an irate family member?  I have eaten at many Cracker Barrels and I have yet to see a waitress or waiter that would make me feel comfortable if I knew they were “packing heat”.  What if you don’t demonstrate proper tone of voice when telling a waiter/waitress that they screwed up on your chicken and dumpling order.  What if they whip out a 38 and start firing at you.  Do I draw my 40. cal and start firing back. I can see this situation regressing to the era of the western saloon where you see a gunfight every night you stepped thru the batwing doors. 

We can only expect someone else to protect us under certain circumstances.  We should expect the government to inspect our meat and food supply.  We can expect that our manufacturers should make sure their product doesn’t blow up when we turn on the key.  We should expect that our Doctors should do us no harm in their pursuit to cure our ailments.  However, all these folks are human.  They make mistakes.  We should not make a career out of finding ways to hold other people accountable for things that come up in our lives.  We should protect ourselves and the lives of our loved ones as best we can. 

Chuy the independent

My previous musing concerned what I considered as the evolution of man and his environs.  It was pointed out to me by David B.  that I failed to mention education.  I did and for than I am sorry.  I do have opinions on that subject.

I was in awe of most of my teachers up thru the 8th grade.  I had some that were as pleasant as they could be and I had some that made me lay awake at night asking the good Lord why he had made a person that fear provoking.  None was actually mean but they had potential.

I can only assume that the electric paddle that Frank Kelly kept in his office at Pecos Elementary School is some place deep in the bowels of the Smithsonian.  I can not tell you of anyone who ever actually saw it but we all knew it was there.  Just as sure as we knew the sun would come up next morning.  We were afraid of corporal punishment.  It existed.  Now, the children can run rough shod over their teachers and classmates with little fear of consequences. 3 days suspension, a week in special school ?  Special school is where they meet the people who can really teach them a thing or two.  How to shoplift, smoke a doobie or other nefarious deeds.  It is a special school for criminals.  Had they had a special school in Pecos where we grew up, guess who would have been the teacher.  Harry Blenden, the Agri teacher.  He, along with many others, did believe in not sparing the rod.  I will not even try to tell you the number of times I was “edged up” in my last two years in Pecos High.  Some I deserved, a few were on the borderline and a couple were just plain wrong on the part of the punisher.  I did survive, although some say, none the wiser.

Students now learn things we could have only dreamed about.  They are more technically trained for the modern world.  Grade school students that dont know the way home can walk you thru a new computer program and never miss a beat.  They do math that only a very select few could have attempted in my hay day.  They were the people who belonged to the slide rule club, etc.  They were smart for those days but might only be average under todays curriculum.  However, ask a student in this day and age where the ‘Pantanal” is located or where the Belgium Congo used to be and they think you are speaking a foreign language.  Ask a student to name the states in the United States.  Ask one to tell you the years of the Civil War.  Suggest a student look something up in a dictionary, HUH?  I would hate to be an encyclopedia salesman in these days and times.  That would be lonelier than a Maytag repairman.  Ask a student to write something for you on a page of paper.  Can I text it instead?  No, I want to see your penmanship.  “I don’t have a boat.”  Times have changed.  Education is time spent in training for how to pass a test to allow you to go to college to learn how to pass another test so you can graduate and not know squat.  Oh, we still have special educators who teach life skills to those who have none.  My daughter is one of those.  She takes the ones who have  little of no chance in life and tries to give them some moments where they can feel productive.  She has had to teach many of her students how to talk, how to do simple daily things and how to cope with other students.  She teaches life.

I guess education had to change to keep up with the modern world but dont you ever wonder how things might have turned out if we were back to a time where part of your learning process was learning how to be respectful, respectable, and most of all, civil.  I wonder.

Chuy the wonderer

As I get older I have time to think about things like evolution.  Not so much the Darwin evolution of one cell organism crawling out of the sea and become the mess we call Man, but the evolution of the everyday things that affect our lives.

The first computer I worked with was housed in a building of warehouse dimensions.  The next one was an IBM sys 32, which was the size of an executive desk with a screen the size of a lady’s compact mirror.  It used green-bar paper and spat it out in voluminous amounts.  You had to learn a special language to utilize its capabilities.  The next model up was a Sys 38, much larger in every way but no more efficient in any way but speed.  My how things have changed in the last 30 + years.  I sit here this morning working on a computer the size of a compositon tablet that has capabilities that I would have never dreamed existed.  Dorothy and I collectively have 8 computers of various types, including smart phones, digital readers, I have 2 Kendles, just in case I get somewhere that I need to read 2 books at one time, and we would have a 9th If I could get her to switch from her flip phone to a Iphone.  I shudder to think how our life would be if we were without any of these devices.  We would not be able to find anything while on trips without D’s Ipad giving us maps and directions by voice.  The voice on these devices is about as annoying as it could possibly be.  I said some derogatory things about “SIRI” one day and she told me she didnt like to hear stuff like that.  I have not turned on that feature on my phone since that day.  Just think for a moment about how far-fetched we thought Dick Tracy’s wrist phone set-up was when we first saw it in the funnys.  Ha, his wrist phone wouldnt be worth squat today.  We can sit down at the keyboard and go anywhere, find anyone, and talk face to face with people from any land.  We often chat with our German daughters via the Skype program, and it is for free.  When they first came to stay with us a call home for them was about $ 10.00 per minute.

Our cars have evolved and then unevolved.  Many of us had cars in our youth that had 6 cylinder, flathead motors.  Then the rage was the muscle car, with engines so big that they were underutilized because of the limits on speed on the hwys.  In the last few years, autos have gone back to smaller engines, but ones that are more efficient and sometimes more powerful than the ones we thought of as dragsters.  What a change.

Almost every phase of life has changed but sometimes not for the better.  Could a Sonic Hamburger joint ever be better than an Al’s Burger Bar?  I think not.  I can sit her now and taste his enchiladas.  That was always a late night snack, after your date, because of the onions on the dish.  His rolled tacos are remembered as the best ever eaten.  I cannot compute the number of “Sissy Burgers”  I ate out of his kitchen.  Sissy burgers was what you ate before the date cause no onions and no pickles allowed for closer contact with the lovely damsel in the front seat of your auto.  Could a skating car-hop of a prepubescent age be better that the Ladies who worked for Al.  No.  In your formative years you need someone to hold you in check.  You need someone who you fear will drag you out of your car and beat you into submission should you get too big for your britches.  Al had those type ladies as car-hops.  Treasures, one and all.

So, I guess we think things have gotten better thru the evolution of man.  But have they?  Can you still let your children, or grands in most of our cases, leave the house at night without worrying that they will be harmed in some way.  Do we know that a village of people are helping us raise our offspring?  Half the village is out to harm them in some way.  Can they go to Al’s for a cherry coke and not end up buying a gram of coke?  Hopefully they know the difference.  Some dont.  I have watched all the television shows on the Travel channel, NationalGeo and do believe that things have adapted due to their surroundings.  I just dont want them evolvng in the wrong way.  I want things simplier.  However, I dont mind the new cup cake place that has opened in Corpus that serves cupcakes in flavors such as pecan pie, maple bacon.  Those are changes that this old codger can get in step with.  I do remember when a cup cake came in either chocolate or vanilla.  What a change.

Chuy the unchanged

.  Thank you Barbara for clearing me up on the hand position rules concerning the steering wheel position.  I had no idea that they had changed from 10/4 to 9/3.  I tried the new position today and it doesnt appear to be much different but being the honest law abiding citizen that I am, well i am using the new one.  Between that and the new handsfree well I will be just like a new driver.

Chuy the driver

As pathetic as our lives can be sometimes, there is always somebody ready to pile on another problem.  We are currently in the middle of a government shutdown because the House can’t get right with the Prez.  If we don’t ask someone (and I’m  not really sure who we have to ask) to raise our credit card limit, well the entire world economy is going to go to hell in a handbag.  The Brits have just announced the minting of a new coin commemorating the birth of the royal baby, which by the way will be available in a denomination at $ 85,000.00 per coin.  The city of Corpus Christi has passed an ordinance against distracted driving.  The Jenners have split after 22 yrs of marriage.

The first two problems listed above are things I can’t do a thing about.  I pretty much have to roll with the punches.  I hope that my money is as protected as the money of the people who are causing the problem.  I hope that the governing parties are not into some kind of Estonian bond that pays 25% interest and is immune to financial effects from other countries.  I hope they have as much to lose as I might have so that I can trust them to not screw things up too bad.  In other words, I hope they dont shoot their foot off in an attempt to pee on the other guys boots.

The Brits apparently have nothing to worry about because they are minting a new coin to celebrate the new royal baby.  How would you feel if you were third in line of succession and this new kid, who I believe is 5th, gets a coin and you dont get squat.  The minting will not affect me in any way because I doubt I will buy one.  One of the denominations will be at the $ 85,000.00 level.  Who in the wide wide world of spending money foolishly would buy a coin for that amount of money, especially when it was minted for a kid they call Baby George.  I predict it wont get much play in Kansas.

Corpus will begin enforcing a new ordinance today.  It is aimed at eliminating distracted drivers.  You can not talk on a cell phone unless it is of the hands free variety.  You can not fix your makeup or apply lip gloss while traveling the expressway at 75 mph.  You can not whip-slap one of your kids in the back seat no matter how serious the offense is that the child committed.  You can not navigate by GPS even though you are as lost as a hiker in the Big Bend with no compass and no matches.  Actually, from here on in, its pretty much hands at 10 and 4 on the wheel and eyes straight ahead.  I am not optimistic about this new ordinance doing much to make the streets safer.  There will always be the driver who thinks he has to sing while driving or play air guitar while negotiating a U-turn on the freeway.

The Jenners have split.  Lord, how did this happen.  Such a loving couple who were doing the best they could to raise a family of young serious minded children.  I feel sure their show will split off into 2 or more shows comprised of the day to day actions of two families of cretins.  I can only hope that the divorce judge permanently bans either party from ever, and I mean to eternity ever, from marrying again.  If fact, bar them from dating for the rest of their lives.

With all these things happening here in early October I can only guess what will transpire in the up coming holiday months.  I do, however, like the month of November.  It contains the Thanksgiving holiday, which affords me the opportunity to consume my favorite food.  Turkey and dressing.  I might ask some of you readers to comment back to me with some of your family recipes for Thanksgiving side dishes.  I love new things.

Chuy the pilgrim