I consider this my most dangerous blog to date.  I know that it will border on sacrilege but feel that I must do it.

I purchased a Pecos cantaloupe yesterday and was able to hold off peeling it until today.  I was in the process of finishing another melon of a different grower and did not want to cross contaminate my Pecos melon.  I was greatly disappointed at the first bite of the Pecos melon.  It was either shipped a bit green or had hardened from direct contact with the sun.  I do not know which.  The melons I have been buying are called “Sugar Kissed” and are every bit as sweet as I remember a Pecos melon of yore to be.  Maybe my expectations were too high.  Maybe the boys in Coyanosa have been relying on the fact that as we get older our taste buds diminish to some degree.  I am stunned to say the least.

I know, I know, the very mention of the Pecos melon not being what it once was will send tremors thru my list of friends.  I am sure that one of the descendents of Dr. Camp is at this very moment going thru the records from the hospital that have been stored all these years, looking to erase my name from birth records.  For that I am sorry but I have a copy of my birth certificate and can prove I was born in Pecos.  I know I have sinned but just couldnt help myself.  This melon just wasnt one of the “ONES”.  I know a silver medal is not as good as a gold but it is better than a bronze (Presidio melon).

I hope that I may have saved one of my readers from a huge dose of disappointment and hope that time will take care of my current fall from grace.

Chuy the cantaloupe taster

The older I get, the more I think I might just be plain stupid.  Or at least bewildered.

I am sitting here this morning in my office watching the senate hearings about the FBI’s conclusion that Hillary Clinton should not be prosecuted.  As usual, the tone of the questions follow strictly along party lines.  The Republicans are mad as a nest of killer bees and the Democrats think the FBI was right as the 10 commandments.  This is where my doubts as to my understanding of life comes into play.  I thought we elected people to congress to govern us in a manner that is fair to the people.  FBI director Comey confessed in more than one instance that Hillary lied to the American people.

i am certain that a vast majority of politicians have lied to us and will lie to us again in the future.  They do this thru promises, made during their pre-election speeches, and these promises are forgotten when they are elected.  I cannot remember anytime in my life where a politician was exposed as a liar by the FBI, more convincingly, and there not being any consequences.  Why is this happening now?  I have always thought that Mrs. Clinton would sell her first born for the chance to become president.  I just dont understand that with all the evidence that has been outlined why we arent boiling up a vat of tar, tearing up a set of feather pillows and get a rail off the ole hitching post.

Am I wrong?  Have I gone stupid?

Chuy the addled.

I like to receive birthday wishes as much as the next person but they seem to have gotten a bit out of hand.  The earliest greeting I received was from facebook.  Facebook is a free service for the users of this social media application.  However, the founder of this modern phenom has made a gazillion dollars from selling advertising.  He could afford to give each user many thousands of dollars and not get himself in a bind financially.  If not money, he could send a nice gift card to a widely used store of some kind.  A $ 1,000.00 gift card to cabela’s would suit me just fine.  However, I did not receive such a blessing.  I got a canned gift card that is automatically sent to all members of the social media giant.  Thanks, Mark.  I cant wait until your special day.

I got a phone call a bit ago from my physician’s clinic.  It was a recorded message wishing me the happiest of days.  It also told me I could push the 1 button if I wanted to hear the message again.  Jesus H. who in their right mind would want to hear such an impersonal message twice.  Hell, he even bitches when he hears I ate a twinkie.  The next time he needs to make a car payment and needs me to come in so he can examine me, I am going to call his office and in a robotic tone to my voice I will say the following:  “This is Gary Cowan, I have taken my temperature rectally and I am doing just time.  My eyes are shiney and my coat is glistening.  I am not suffering from any lung problems and have no old age systems except lack of creative things to do during the time that I have to wait in your front office.  Please send me $ 45.00 for this self diagnosis.  Press 1 if you want to hear this message again.  Thank you.

Chuy

Yesterday the subject of the children’s moment at church was the Library.  The minister’s wife asked the children that had come forward how many had a library card.  Not many raised their hand or otherwise signaled that they even knew what she was going to discuss.  It brought back memories.

I remember the library in Pecos in great detail.  I remember that set of stairs going up to those big doors.  I can see the exact shelf where the Hardy Boy books were kept.  I can also vividly see the card catalog.  That place was magical.  I can remember the day that my Mother helped me get my own card.  I treasured it as much as any treasure I had at the time.  It was probably replaced a number of years later by my driver’s license.  However, I was not so happy to get my draft card.

My library is now Amazon.com.  My book shelves are the 3 Kindles that I own.  I find them much more magical than the old library.  I remember the first Kindle that I purchased.  The day after I had placed the order I realized I had not purchased any books.  I got on-line and hurriedly bought 3 books, hoping to download them when I received my unit.  To my surprise and awe I found that they had been downloaded to my Kindle even though the Kindle was in shipment when I purchased the books.  That was little short of a miracle as far as I was concerned.  I am never without one of them.  I read while I eat at a restaurant if I am eating alone.  I used to read while driving but Dorothy insisted that I stop that.  I need a driver.

I dont think kids read as much now as we did in our formative years.  I am not sure that they are even as inquisitive as we were.  We had so much more to learn about.  We didnt know about space walks, orbits, etc.

Now I have to decipher whether the latest letter from the widow women in Nigeria is really a legitimate damsel in distress that needs me to help her get $ 20 million in gold out of her bank account in Zambia or if it is a scam.  How did she get my address anyway.  Is helping her even legal?

I think I am going to just sit down a reread those Hardy boy books one more time.  Hopefully some child will see me reading in the restaurant and ask his parents what I am doing.

Chuy the reader

It has been several days since the tragedy in Orlando and there has been time for many to voice their opinions on what the problem is and how it can be solved.  Many folks believe that the cure is as easy as prohibiting the sale of assault weapons.  Sounds simple.  It isn’t that easy.

Many rifles that are referred to as assault weapons are not actually what they are thought to be.  Most are not fully automatic weapons.  Most only fire when the trigger is pulled, and must be pulled for each round fired.  This is the exact same process as was required to fire the .22 rifle i received as a Christmas gift at about age 12.  The new weapons have the advantage of supplying the next round in a more efficient manner than removing the rounds individually from the box, but the firing process is the same.

I personally own 11 long guns, and 5 pistols.  I am a licensed firearm carrier.  I live in a state that allows its citizens to carry a firearm on their person, with only a few exceptions.  You can’t wear a firearm at a polling place, a bar or at any place that specifically forbids one from being armed.  Although licensed to do so, I have never carried a pistol on my person anyplace except at my ranch.  I can carry it there because there is no one there to complain.  I do however always have a firearm within reach, more specifically, in my automobile.  None of my firearms has ever killed a human being.  I don’t foresee it ever happening.  I might mention that I have several guns that by physical design and appearance could be considered an assault weapon.  They are equipped with magazines that will hold up to 30 rounds of ammunition.  They do not have to be so equipped and come with alternate magazines that hold 5 rounds.  The normal hunting rifle will hold 5 rounds depending on the type gun it is.  I consider the larger clips as “what if” equipment.  As in, what if the native Americans up in Oklahoma decided that they have had enough of the folks that invaded their country and held it captive for the last 400 years.  As you can see, pretty slim chance of me needing the 30 round clip, but I am ready.

Would we be less concerned and/or revolted if the man in Orlando had killed 10 people by using a machete?  We shouldnt be.

I think we have slowly evolved into a species that does not consider the rights of others.  The family unit has deteriorated from what it was in generations of our ancestors.  Our fast paced lifestyle has contributed to this in many ways.  Many families have quit having family get together to reaffirm our relationships to our family members,  Too many people stand alone in life.  We are separated by religion as well as geography.  We are separated by economics.  So many things make us diverse. We expect people to care when many have nothing to care about.

Solution?  Not a clue that would have an immediate effect.  I think over time we could reinvent our society to one that had a central core such as family.  Maybe its too late for even that approach.

ghc

I guess I have lived too long.  I certainly never thought that I would be living during a time when it was a sure-fire fact that one of the cases the Supreme Court will have to decide on in the very near future will be the question of which bathroom a person can or cannot use.  It just boggles my mind.

How did all this start?  It was the little things.  Do y’all remember when Coach Robbins came to Pecos and one of the first things he complained about was you women wearing jeans to school.  Those tight jeans were distracting the football team.  Besides that, they were boys’ style jeans.  Those jeans could have been the fore-runner of all our problems in our modern society.  One of the greatest athletes of our time decided he really didnt feel manly so he switched.  Let his hair grow out, got some boobs and took to the streets as a woman.  Saw today that he was thinking about switching back.  What happened, panty girdle cause a rash on your scrotum?  Living as a woman not all it was cracked up to be?  Difficulty in getting a date?  Does anyone remember anyone in the whole world claiming to be transgender ?   I never heard of the term during my formative years.  Now, a transgender person is on every news show on TV and its not just the same one.  There must be many more of them that I would have guessed.  The state of North Carolina decided to take the bull by the horn, so to speak, and passed a law stating that you had to use the bathroom based on your natural gender.  If you were born a man and even though you felt like a woman, you had to use the men’s room.  The feds stepped in and have stated that to make a person do this was discriminatory and they must be allowed to use the potty that makes them feel good about them selves and how they are being treated.  Have we solved so many of our problems that this has become our nation’s biggest problem?  I think not.  I would think that trying a case before the Supreme Court would be a great career feat for any attorney.  How would you like to be the attorney who was forever known as the lawyer involved in “CRAPPER VS USA”.  Hang your head in shame.

Life is mostly confusing so it does not need many of the things that seem to get in the way and cause stress to all of us.  We need things to be orderly.  Hill country peaches are supposed to come out in June and July.  Now they have said that they will start hitting the road side stands in the next week or so.  I am not ready for that.  I want some fresh peaches but I am not ready to go up there to get them.  I guess an adjustment in my travel calendar is in order.

I hope all of us can survive the coming election season.  Its going to be a long haul.

Chuy

I am a simple man.  I don’t need much to get along in this world.  I want a few things, none of which is asking too much.  So what does a man of my needs and wants think about.

I need a couple of pair of loose-fitting putter pants: I need three pairs of comfortable shoes and I need a climate controlled facility to go potty. ( warm in winter, cool in summer).Like most folks, I want more things than I need.  I want the lady across the alley to understand that having a garage sale every weekend is not an inherent right.  It can not and wasnt meant to be a career choice.  I want the man down the alley to understand that the alley can not serve as an area for repairing automobiles or for storing them. His neighbor needs to understand that having your fence held up with tent pegs and rope does not fit the covenants of the subdivision we live in.  I want HEB grocery chain to uphold the sign on the express line that says “limited to 15 items or less”  They need to make it understood that an item does not constitute an entire basket full of groceries.  I want that people do not choose to discuss the PTA meeting in the center of the aisle of the grocery store.  I want that people who park in front of the sign that says ” NO PARKING, FIRE LANE” understand that the sign means them.  Unless they are driving tanker truck #9 from the neighborhood fire station, they need to move on.  I don’t give a damn if their spouse just ran in to get a few items.  That was probably the sumbitch that was in the express line with 150 items in their basket.

I want someone for president of our country who is not subject to being indicted for passing along state secrets on Facebook.  I want a person who doesn’t make me wish that Cowboy Bob and Howdy Doody were back on Television.  I want a Congress that isn’t mostly interested in lining their own pockets and feathering their own nest.  I want somebody up there to sit back one day and say,  “Damn, we ought to do something for the simple man that we represent.”  Well Joe Bob, what do you mean?  Any ideas?  Well we could give him something that makes him think we care about him.  Gee, hey I have an idea, why don’t we give him a warm place to shit

. I guess sometimes you get what you need and don’t even have to ask for it.  What a country we live in.

Chuy

Dont get me wrong.  I know we have to have rules and I am all for them. However, I am against the “rules” being a cop-out when one is faced with using “common sense” to solve a problem.  I am afraid we may be raising a generation of people who have no initiative and this is caused by knowing that they only have to follow a set of rules to properly do their job.  No never mind whether they have solved a problem or just created a larger one.  They followed office rules!!!!!

I took my mother to a new doctor earlier in the week.  Was difficult to get the appointment as there must be an epidemic of ear problems in the area.  There are at least 9 doctors in this Ear, Nose and Throat clinic.  Upon arrival I was told that mother had to fill out a new patient form: normal enough, but they also wanted a photo ID.  A Photo ID for someone who has an ear ache?  How many people are going to see the ear doctor and using a stolen identity?  Can you get a drug prescription from an ear doctor?  Are there people who get sexual gratification from reading the eye chart or having a popsicle stick run down their throat and saying ahhhh?  We had her SS card, several credit cards but alas none had the necessary photo.  I was told that it was office policy not to see anyone without a photo ID.  So we were forced to leave, ear ache still raging.  Do ear doctors sign that Hippocratic oath thing that basically says that they will do no harm.  Not seeing a patient writhing in pain is my definition of Hippocratic oath violation.  We had no option but to seek the Photo ID.

In prior years, in order to get a license or ID you had to go to the local DPS office and sign in and wait.  I am not talking about a few minutes of waiting time.  I am talking a chicken in the picnic basket type wait.  You had better take your lunch, any medicines that you are scheduled to take during daylight hours and a change of clothing.  You need to make sure your relatives are aware that you are at the DPS so they dont report you as a missing person.

The Texas DPS now has a computerized system where you get in the waiting line before you leave your house to make the drive to their facility.  I sign up.  I was told I had 13 minutes to get there.  No way.  I had to pick up mother and drive 25 miles across town.  They kept dinging my mobile phone with messages that I am next in line. They also warned me against reading text messages while driving.  They finally informed me that I had lost my place in line and had 120 minutes to get back in line or else.  Or else what?  At this point I am having night sweats, my heart is racing and I am having visions of a man gone berserk at a state government office.  We arrive.  Because we had been booted out of line, we had to pick a ticket.  You know, like the one you get at the ice cream parlor that tells you that you are next in line behind the family of 12 who are first time visitors to the ice cream shoppe.  Those folks who decide that they each must try the most bizarre combination of sprinkles ever put on a scoop of ice cream.  Well, we are B38 and the overhead screen says we have a 13 minute wait.  They same exact amount of time they gave me to get across town.  We are eventually directed to post #1.  We make our way there and are greeted by a fellow who forgot his personality when he left for work.  I presented mother’s application, her birth certificate (which was locked inside a steel vault, no key)(which I had to bust into), her social security card, a bank statement and an Insurance policy.  Things to prove her identity and her residence.  Gomer the government worker poured over the documents like they were a trade agreement between Texas and the world-wide trade community.  He excitedly announced that we didn’t bring her utility bill.  I explained to him that she lived in a retirement community where her utilities were included in the rent and that all her bills were paid thru direct debit to her bank account .  He advised that utility bills were on the official list.  I asked him if his sister worked for an ear doctor in Corpus Christi.  He looked at me funny and said his sister didnt work.  At this point I was wondering how I could get to my car to get some type of fire arm to make a stand at the DPS office until they issued my mother an ID.  I found another bill in the pile of papers.  I showed it to him.  He said is was not a utility bill.  It was time to ask for a supervisor.  The supervisor poured over the documents for about 10 minutes and after reading 12 pages of my mother’s insurance policy she announced that proper documentation.  Another 45 minutes and we are on our way, with a temporary ID card.

All of my consternation could have been avoided had Gomer’s sister, at the ear doctor office, had simply taken some initiative and said, Hey, your mother is 92 years old, maybe we ought to cut her some slack.  Maybe if we let her in this time the tower of Pisa will not fall down.  “Do you know if she is addicted to ear wax removal liquid?”  “do you know if she is armed?”  No, that didnt happen.  Why?  Because she was following the list that comprised office policy.  Her job was safe.  She had protected the kingdom.  However, she did not solve the problem.

Chuy

I guess I just don’t get it.  There is currently a big controversy in the eastern part of the country over which restroom a young lady is able to use.  She has stated that she identifies herself as being a man, instead of the biological classification of her birth.  To put it in perspective, she wants to stand and not squat.  She states that being forced to go to the ladies room is causing her discomfort based on her transgender feelings. In other words, she aint feeling good about herself.  I can only wonder if she actually believed that making this transformation was going to be smooth.  Did she expect to be recognized as a man and that was it?  Did she not expect there to be some bumps in the road.  I would suggest that being hung up as unidentified, and not being able to use either the mens or the women’s restroom would be a much larger problem.  Instead, she has opted to let this be settled in the courts.  I shudder to think how much this is going to cost the county where this will hopefully be settled.  I only hope that this is not one of those things that goes all the way to the Supreme Court.

My oh My have times ever changed during my 72+ years.

Chuy