Some days you wake up and ask, what the hell is going on?  These days are becoming more frequent.  Why would a person plant bombs at the finish line of a marathon race?  Why would anyone go to an elementary school and kill multiple persons?  If these acts were being perpetrated by someone from a foreign country that is in an ideological war with the USA, then you can maybe understand, but it usually turns out to be someone from within our community.  How did things get so skewed that the action they have taken seems to be the only action available to them?  I dont have an answer to that.

I am sitting here this morning, in my office, and watching the media pundits go on about gun control.  Most of those who are doing the talking are people who I doubt have ever been to a gun show.  Everyone I have ever been to requires background checks in order to purchase a gun. They say a gun can be purchased from an individual without such a check.  That is correct.  How is a gun control law going to prevent that.  If the bad guys want to buy a gun, then they can buy one from an individual who is not a licensed fire arm dealer and the government is none the wiser.  Passing a law will not change that.  I dont mind them checking me, as I have nothing to hide.  I want to buy a gun, I buy a gun.  Not to be used to kill my fellow man, mostly just to own.  It is more of an act of collecting than anything else.

The blast in Boston should show everyone that the problem is not guns.  The explosives showered the people on the street with nails, bb’s and ball bearings.  They appear to have been placed inside a $ 19.99 pressure cooker, which can be purchased at your local grocery store. How do we legislate against the use of such items, by our fellow man, as equipment of destruction.  We cant.

The problem is really a lot more basic than loose gun control.  We have gotten away from core values.  We have undermined the family in America.  These are not things that you and I dont already know.  I am not telling you something you dont know in your heart.  How do we recover what we once had?  I am not sure we can in the short term.  I think we have to try.  We have to look at ourselves and see what we can do to support the family unit.  We have to start being nice to each other.  We have to start treating all people in a manner that we would like to be treated.  Does that sound biblical?   It should.  That is another one of our problems.

I could go on.  I guess I am just sad about how things are going in our country.  I remember when I would not have thought about carrying a fiream in my auto.  I cant imagine not doing that now.  I dont plan on ever using it. but.

Gary

I have had a relationship with a family of squirrels for a while now.  I planted a pecan tree in my front yard and have never gotten a single pecan for personal use.  The squirrels have been successful in eating them all.  I have recently begun feeding them corn on the cob, which they apparently like immensely.  I have treated them well.

Yesterday, I walked out the front of the house and heard a noise from the eaves of the house.  I eventually identified the noise as an animal trying to gnaw its way out of my roof.  It had cleared a small hole in the facia board and was simply enlarging its escape route.  After a couple of shots fired at the animal he stopped his actions temporarily.  Today my first duty was to buy a live trap.  I have it baited in the attic above the garage and have a snare set over the squirrel’s normal entry hole in my roof.  The war is on.

He could have had a good life, with regular corn drops, if he had only kept his gnawing to the cob of corn that was being set out.  NOOOO, he had to start doing a bit of home remodeling.  I can only assume that he was unaware of the castle doctrine that governs killing intruders in to your home.  The castle doctine, which is Texas law, allows you to kill intruders in your home (castle).  I am withing my rights to stop this intrusion.

I have looked up several recipes for squirrel stew, fricasse, and other ways to eat squirrel.  I am not only going to kill him and his family, including any cousins, but I am going to eat them also.  Squirrel stew with a nice brown gravy, over some light as a feather biscuits, with a nice chianti, and I am good to go. 

I will report regularly as to the number of varmints I remove from the attiack and crawl space in my home.  And, if that little Korean guy keeps up his actions, well I may have to make a road trip. 

Chuy the exterminator

Friends and family.  We had a great anniversary weekend in the lovely city of galveston.  I would recommend a trip there if you havent been in years.   We would like to thank each of you who sent well wishes. There is much to do, or they have benches along the main shopping streets so you dont have to move for hours.  I particularly like watching people.  I like to play a little game while watching people.  I wonder in my mind, 1st.  Does the person I am looking at actually own a mirror?  Do they use it regularly?  Is it one of those wicked witch mirrors like in snow white?  Does their damned mirror lie to them on a regular basis or just on occasion?  Now if you are a 20 something young person, weighing in at about 245lbs and your are wearing a mini-skirt, a t-shirt with more holes than a cheese grater, then I propose that when you asked your mirror who is the farest in the land, well that damned thing told you a lie.  And it does not help that you have the seven dwarfs tatooed on your calves.  Being a bit plump myself, I can attest to the fact that you have to take extra precautions to keep from looking like 6 lbs of sausage in a two lb sack.  It is not hard to do that.  Now, 2nd.  paisley shirts do not go with plaid bermuda shorts.  In fact, paisley shirts dont go with anything.  They can be used in a stage production but should not be used for public viewing.  Match your clothing.  If you have on a brown shirt, try to wear some shade of brown pants, and brown socks and shoes.  A nice brown belt also looks good.  Do not dress like a pirate unless you are being paid to be a pirate or you plan on actually hijacking a boat.  If you are dressed like a pirate and carry a fake gun down the street I want you to know that I am carrying a real gun.  My gun is not a blunderbuss, mine carries 17 shots and a spare clip.  I am also usually carrying a very large knife somewhere on my person.  Pirating just isnt the business that it used to be.  We saw a number of pirates while in Galveston.

My friend Mike and I spent several hours parked on a bench in front of the ole fashioned candy store/soda fountain.  The owners had a giant stuffed poo bear on a bench and sat beside him.  I told everybody that walked by that the bear and I had pretty well eaten all the stock in the store.  Some people seemed genuinely upset, others advised me that they could understand and patted me on the head.  We had a good time.

We ate some really good food.  We stopped for lunch at a soul food cafe.  They had some to die for collard greens and some delisc. blackeye peas.  Mike told the lady behind the cafeteria counter that he only wanted one porkchop.  She bluntly informed him that the porkchop dinner carried two porkchops and that was what he was gonna eat.  He ate both of them.  We had a good time despite the obvious ethnic difference that existed between the four of us and the rest of the diners.

Again, thank all of your for your kind wishes.  We are gonna try for a couple of more decades of marriage.  We pretty well have it down pat and dont expect any difficulties now that we have the children raised, the bills all paid , etc.

GC

Tomorrow is mine and Dorothy’s 50th wedding anniversary.  That is a pretty nice accomplishment for two people who no one gave a chance of lasting anywhere near that length of time.  Goes to show you that concensus of opinions are not always what happens or what should happen. 

We, like most of you, had good and some trying times.  Happily the good far exceeded the ones that were less than good.  We made it because we loved each other and cared for our families and our friends. 

We are going to Galveston today for a bit of a respite from me working on tax returns and hopefully have some good meals, look at many shops and finger a vast amount of merchandise.  I imagine we will se more than one art gallery, jewelry store or whatever else they have there that will attract tourists.  I can only hope that Galveston is a forward thinking city that provides a number of benches for husbands who would rather watch people than products.  Maybe there is a bench right in front of the Victoria Secrets store.  Hey, I been married 50 years, if that doesnt allow you a look, then I should have joined the army.  Had I joined the military instead of getting married, after 50 years I would have probably been a retired general.  If you work for a corporation for 50 years they give you a lapel pin or a gold watch.  I will be happy with a card.

I wont take pictures of the anniversary night if ya’ll dont mind cause I am sure we will be asleep by 10pm and as usual wake up around 5am.  I am taking a bit of work so I will have something to do from 5 until the time the stores open.

G

I just read where we, the people of the United States of America, were billed $ 585,000 for VP Joe Biden to spend one night in Paris, France.  I have been thru Paris and I do believe you could buy the entire place for slightly more than Joe spent in spending the night.  What did his minibar have in it?  What did his maid service consist of?  State officials didnt seem to think that this bill was particularly out of line based on the ammenities that were furnished and the number of folks that had to go with him.  How damned many people does it take to keep Joe from making a fool of himself?  Well, I guess I should have thought about that question a bit more.  Listen, D and I have done some traveling around Europe and we stayed in some hotels that might not let Joe in the front door and I can assure you we did not spend anywhere near that.  We stayed in a place in Berlin that had a bath butler.  All I had to do was hit the bath butler button on the phone and up pops a guy to draw my bath water, mix special soap pellets to the water and make sure it was the proper temp.  He also turned on the towel warmer so that I could dry off with a heated towel.  That cost the grand total of 25 euro.  Folks, at even today’s exchange rate, that aint $ 585,000.00.  For an extra 10 euro I could have probably cut a deal to have my bottom powdered.  Wonder why I didnt do that?  We stayed in another hotel in Germany that had a secret passageway so that we could see into the room next door.  That cost nothing extra.  We didnt use it but not sure the people from next door werent looking at us.  All I saying is, you can get some pretty darned nice sleeping arrangements for under $ 500.00 per night.  They will normally throw in a pretty good breakfast free of charge.  What did Joe have for breakfast?  Does Paris not have a Marriot Courtyard?

Chuy the disgruntled

You can go ahead and beat me, tie me down, scald me with hot water, but I have to tell you that I do not like cats.  They are sneaky, they are indescriminate in their toilet habits and generally give me the willys.  Dogs dont like cats and that is fine with me.  Dogs chase cats and I hope they catch them.

With this being said, my morning coffee and newspaper read was ruined when i read the story about the new cat bus in Corpus.  There exists a place here at the edge of town named the “Catery.  Apparently has something to do with cats.  And a lot of them.  I noticed recently that they had purchased a small used school bus.  I had been eyeing that same bus as a potential hunting vehicle/sleeping rig.  In this mornings paper it was revealed that they are refurbishing the bus so that they can make it easier to disperse adoptive cats.  Hell, does a cat need a bus token and a bus ride to get someplace?  Those damned things are everywhere.  I can only invision a cat taking the “B” over to my neighborhood to do “toilette” in my flower bed.  Do I have to come to a complete stop if I am behind the cat bus and it stops to let a rider out?  Will there be a particular cat that rides the bus forever because no one wants to adopt the thing.

I can only hope that I never see the cat bus driving down my cul de sac.  That will be where I draw the line in the sand.  That bus better have bullet proof windows cause the lead is gonna fly.

Speaking of cats.  What in the world is Tiger up to?  What is that poor girl thinking?  Does she not read the tabloids?  Does she not know that she is dating the number 1 philanderer in all of history?  She will go to the beauty shop and 12 of the 13 ladies in the shop will be women that Tiger has “known”.  That has got to be a bit disconcerting.

I have to stop now and make my grocery list.  I go to the grocery store every saturday and about 5 times during the week.  My trips are always a source of displeasure or one of humor and awe.  I almost never go without seeing someone who just absolutely stops me in my tracks.  I mean, is it really necessary to have “left and right” tatooed above your breasts?  And is the wife beater T-shirt the only top that you could wear this morning to match your shorts that have more holes in them than the package of baby swiss that I just purchased?  Has the government outlawed the use of a mirror?

Chuy, the observant

The wedding is finally over and they are enjoying the beaches of Jamaica.  It was a very, very nice affair and was enjoyed by all in attendance.  The little photog from GQ mag was kind of a pest but I finally signed the waiver about future publication of my picture and he went away.  I hate when that happens.

The bride was beautiful, the groom handsome.  Mother of the groom was gorgeous and the father of the groom was knock dead, good looking.  The ceremony was timely, well done and got the job done as well as any. 

I will be publishing some pics of the participants as soon as I get caught up with a few things.

Gary C.

I have been told that until I cross over to the dark side and start wearing Vera Wang panties that I should refrain from giving fashion advice.

With that in mind, I am off to Walmart.  I wonder, do Vera Wang come in 3XL?  Do they come in basic cotton or do I have to cross over to the nylon variety?  Dicisions, Decisions

Chuy

I am a watcher of people.  They are even more amusing than the monkeys at the zoo, except they dont pick at each other’s hair.  Mostly.  You can sit on a bench in the mall and see every kind of person that you would ever want to see.  Yes, I occasionally see myself in the window of a store.  Thats funny also.

I have noticed for a while that the jeans worn by women have taken a flashy tone.  The back pockets are adorned with large crystal the size of a lemon, surrounded by other smaller flashier stones.  Why would fashion designers all of a sudden feel that they should draw attention to the posterior area of a woman.  Some of these designs look as if the HOPE diamond is trying to get back to the crack in the earth that it was dug up from in the first place. I would assume that the jeans made from the stretchy material like pajamas would be more comfortable to wear and to set in.  I can remember as a youth, walking around with a back pocket full of marbles and I made sure I didnt sit in the wrong position.  In south Texas, there some folks that should not draw attention to that particular part of their anatomy for any reason.

Maybe we should implement a system whereby at our annual physical checkup by our doctor, we are measured, photographed, sized, compared to a chart and if any portion of our bod exceeds specificaions, well, we are simply issued a fashion pass.  This states that we are allowed to wear any old thing we own that is comfortable.  It doesnt have to be in fashion, spiffy or cutting edge.  Just comfortable.  If anyone should happen to comment on your clothing choice, just flash the pass.  Nuff said.

Chuy the fashionista

I just read on facebook that if you owe less than $ 625k on your home mortgage then you may qualify for the President’s new refi offer.  I hardly know what to say.  I am so pleased that I am under the cap.  I have really been struggling with the decision to refinance my $ 620,000.00 loan on my house.

Friends, if you have a home mortgage that gets anywhere close to a balance of $ 625k, then you need to reassess your living standards.  You dont need a refinancing bailout, you need an ice water enema and a strong reality check. At our age, we really only need about 800 square feet which includes the kitchen, one bedroom and a nice walk in shower.  Anything above that is for the comfort of someone else who should probably stay at a motel anyway.  Why would anyone live in a house that cost that much.  I know, prestige.  However, that concept is way overrated if you are going to have to refinance at a lower interest rate.

We have become two seperate classes of people here in the USA.  One is the group that thinks our country owes them a living and everything that goes along with it.  The other group, which I proudly admit to being a member of, is the group that knows that the federal government doesnt owe me a damned thing.  I have been employed steadily since about 1961 and part time for a few years before that and pretty much think I have earned every damned thing I have.  I may have had some help along the way and cant remember not thanking any of those folks that helped out.

We keep hearing that we are facing massive budget problems.  I can remember in our early days of marriage when a budget problem was making $ 1.00 per hour working nights at a Texaco gas station and having the owner taking shortages out of my check because I was the night manager.  By God, that was a budget problem.  We are being told that one group is to blame and then the other.  Both are up to their ears in the blame cesspool.  I have a long memory as some of you may have surmised.  I wont get to vote for every one of these hoodlums but the ones I do see on my ballot will get assigned the blame they deserve.

Chuy the disgruntled