I have thought for quite some time that the human race had about outlived its usefulness.  This feeling is reinforced almost on a daily basis.  Let me cite a few of the latest examples.

Eating Tide Pods:  In the first place, why would anybody do this?  A Tide pod is designed to assist in the removal of grease, dirt and other foreign matter from our clothing.  What was the first person to perform this fete thinking that it would do for them?  Tide pods are kinda pretty if you take a good look at them.  They are a swirl of color and I can see where they might be a temptation to very small children, but, from what I understand, the kids doing this are ones who have passed a few grades in school and are certainly old enough to have been told, by their parents, not to put shit in their mouths.  Any one who has ever had their mouths washed out with a bar of Lifebouy soap can vouch for the fact that soap doesn’t taste good.  Does a Tide pod taste better?  We switched from the Tide pod to liquid Tide because the damn things were leaving streaks of blue across my clothing and they werent always melting.  I guess that the liquid could be dangerous also if some kid decides to take a shot glass full of the liquid.

SPORTS DOCTORS:  This is a bit more delicate subject and a sensitive one.  However I have several thoughts about this.  This doctor was accused and now convicted of molesting young gymnasts  over a considerable length of time and from all evidence was protected, or at least not ratted out, by many of his peers.  My basic question concerning this matter is “What was he telling the parents that the procedure he was performing was going to do for the young lady”?  Was it to make her tumble better, jump higher ?  I can’t even imagine a story that I, as a parent, could have been told that would allow me to let a doctor mishandled a child in this manner.  This guy has been sentenced to 175 years in prison and if stories about prisons are true then he wont serve near that long before somebody , who might have a niece who is a gymnast, takes matters in hand and lets him out early.  Via local funeral parlor.

Most of you reading this are either from my home town or are familiar with it.  Back in the 50’s we had a sports doctor who performed all of the medical exams for potential participants in school sports programs. Boys, as far as I remember.  The procedure performed was the “turn your head and cough” procedure.  Although this procedure was non invasive, it was something that gave you the chills.  Most 13-year-old boys are not happy with standing with shorts about their ankles and being told to cough while that examiner has a thumb running around their scrote area.  I don’t remember it hurting but I was damned glad it was over.  Supposedly you were being examined to determine if you had any evidence of hernia.  Sometime in the early 60’s this doctor was accused, not openly but more as whispered accusations, that he was having much too much fun performing these exams.  He was also the volunteer high school wrestling coach.  He died very suddenly.  I think it was on a Saturday night and it was said that he fell and hit his head of his bath tub.  End of story.  No trial, no prison term, just end of story.

Both of the above comments are evidence of how we have changed in our interaction with our children.  My mother would have known almost immediately if I was eating Tide pods.  She would have smelled it on my breath.  My parents would have also known if the sports doctor had done an internal exam instead of an external exam.  I would have told them.  ” Listen, the doctor’s thumb slipped, I don’t know what he was looking for but you may want to check to see if he found it”.

My three children are way beyond the age of consent but my wife and I are still very interested in their day-to-day lives.  Sometimes the children think we are a bit too interested but they suffer through it because we are their parents.  I can assure them that if they start eating Tide pods that I will be over at their houses asking them why they are doing it and if I am not satisfied with their answer then I will wash their mouths out with soap.

GC the parent and constant protector of my family