I like to receive birthday wishes as much as the next person but they seem to have gotten a bit out of hand.  The earliest greeting I received was from facebook.  Facebook is a free service for the users of this social media application.  However, the founder of this modern phenom has made a gazillion dollars from selling advertising.  He could afford to give each user many thousands of dollars and not get himself in a bind financially.  If not money, he could send a nice gift card to a widely used store of some kind.  A $ 1,000.00 gift card to cabela’s would suit me just fine.  However, I did not receive such a blessing.  I got a canned gift card that is automatically sent to all members of the social media giant.  Thanks, Mark.  I cant wait until your special day.

I got a phone call a bit ago from my physician’s clinic.  It was a recorded message wishing me the happiest of days.  It also told me I could push the 1 button if I wanted to hear the message again.  Jesus H. who in their right mind would want to hear such an impersonal message twice.  Hell, he even bitches when he hears I ate a twinkie.  The next time he needs to make a car payment and needs me to come in so he can examine me, I am going to call his office and in a robotic tone to my voice I will say the following:  “This is Gary Cowan, I have taken my temperature rectally and I am doing just time.  My eyes are shiney and my coat is glistening.  I am not suffering from any lung problems and have no old age systems except lack of creative things to do during the time that I have to wait in your front office.  Please send me $ 45.00 for this self diagnosis.  Press 1 if you want to hear this message again.  Thank you.

Chuy