I am a simple man. I don’t need much to get along in this world. I want a few things, none of which is asking too much. So what does a man of my needs and wants think about.
I need a couple of pair of loose-fitting putter pants: I need three pairs of comfortable shoes and I need a climate controlled facility to go potty. ( warm in winter, cool in summer).Like most folks, I want more things than I need. I want the lady across the alley to understand that having a garage sale every weekend is not an inherent right. It can not and wasnt meant to be a career choice. I want the man down the alley to understand that the alley can not serve as an area for repairing automobiles or for storing them. His neighbor needs to understand that having your fence held up with tent pegs and rope does not fit the covenants of the subdivision we live in. I want HEB grocery chain to uphold the sign on the express line that says “limited to 15 items or less” They need to make it understood that an item does not constitute an entire basket full of groceries. I want that people do not choose to discuss the PTA meeting in the center of the aisle of the grocery store. I want that people who park in front of the sign that says ” NO PARKING, FIRE LANE” understand that the sign means them. Unless they are driving tanker truck #9 from the neighborhood fire station, they need to move on. I don’t give a damn if their spouse just ran in to get a few items. That was probably the sumbitch that was in the express line with 150 items in their basket.
I want someone for president of our country who is not subject to being indicted for passing along state secrets on Facebook. I want a person who doesn’t make me wish that Cowboy Bob and Howdy Doody were back on Television. I want a Congress that isn’t mostly interested in lining their own pockets and feathering their own nest. I want somebody up there to sit back one day and say, “Damn, we ought to do something for the simple man that we represent.” Well Joe Bob, what do you mean? Any ideas? Well we could give him something that makes him think we care about him. Gee, hey I have an idea, why don’t we give him a warm place to shit
. I guess sometimes you get what you need and don’t even have to ask for it. What a country we live in.
Chuy
ghomercowan 
I am somewhat notorious at a local HEB because of an incident about a yeasr ago. There was a lady in line in front of me with about 40 items in the 15 or less lane and after the finished checking out she paid in cash. When the checker was giving her the change I asked if she wanted me to help count it to make sure it was correct. She looked op at me and said why in the hell would I want you to help me count my change. As I looked up at the sign that said 15 items or less I said in a loud voice it’s obvious you can’t count. There was a loud applause and the lady ran out of the store without he groceries.
Love this Skipper!! May have to try it sometime even tho’ I do not do the grocery shopping (as you can tell Mr. G has taken on that chore thankfully)! Might still come in handy when I occasionally wander into Walmart where the same thing happens!