We rarely ever hear of a town drunk anymore.  When we were growing up there was one in every small town in America,  He was usually a fellow who got along well with others, worked most of the time and was generally avoided or pitied by most who felt he should have had his life on a different track.  When sober, the town drunk would do anything for anybody and was glad to do the favor.  He was generally an amiable fellow.

We no longer have that fellow to look at.  We now have homeless people, who are of a totally different genre, and we have celebrity drunks.  The homeless are mostly not amiable.  The celebrity drunks are becoming less amiable all the time.  However, the celebrity does have rehab to fall back on.  Screw up Joe Bob?  Check in the clinic for a non-specific period of time in order to allow someone to help you find the true meaning of life.  Find out what is making you a person who self destruct.  Beat your wife and then check in so you wont have to face the consequences.  Lay around the rec room at the clinic and listen to other people who can’t cope.  Announce that you are a better person for the treatment and go back to doing what you did before.

Phelps, the swimmer, has just checked into a rehab clinic to find out why he is hell-bent to perdition.  I can tell him in a short number of very carefully chosen words. Buddy, just because you can swim fast doesn’t make you bulletproof or superhuman.  GET A GRIP.  Yes, a cocktail or a beer tastes good.  Probably much better than jail sandwiches, which are normally made of stale bread and week old baloney.  Check into a rehab clinic whose dietician used to work for Sheriff Joe Aparo out of Phoenix.  A few weeks of that dietary regimen and you will be back on the straight and narrow, never to vacillate again.

People of great and grand stature should be extra careful where they step because dog doo is so much harder to scrape off a foot made of clay.

G