I love sandwiches.  I honor the Earl of Sandwich for his contribution to that finest of all quick meals.  It has been reported that he asked a slave to slice some bread and place a slab of meat on it so he could eat while still playing cards.  Capital request there Earl.

I have 3 favorite sandwiches and they are from my days of yore.  In other words I ate them as a child.  They are pimento cheese, egg salad and tuna fish.  Back in the days when the cheese was grated on the old box grater, the eggs might be left over from an easter egg hunt and the tuna came from a can with enough oil in it to change oil on a Chevy.  We had no zip lock bags so our sandwiches were wrapped in “Cut-rite” wax paper.  Just enough odor could escape an item wrapped in wax paper to tantalize you all morning long.  I can vividly remember sitting in my desk, smelling the egg salad sandwich in my lunch pail.  Lunch usually consisted on a sandwich, 3 cookies and a small thermos filled with kool-ade.  Now, these sandwiches could serve as a meal for guests by simply cutting off the crust and making one of more diagonal cuts across the bread to make half triangles or two cuts which produced finger sandwiches.  Have you ever noticed how many more of those finger sandwiches you can eat, simply because they are just bite size?  You feel no shame in eating 10 or 12 of those little rascals and then later realize you have eaten 3 large sandwiches.

Modern day sandwiches have made progress according to some folks.  Many people like bread that has sunflower seeds, chunks of cranberries or even almonds in the bread.  Some like their sandwich to have a piece of lettuce that is curly and sticks out 4 inches on every side of the bread.  I dont.  I like the square, white bread.

Some ingredients for a sandwich demand a certain “side”.  A ham sandwich just about has to have cheese.   It should always have a slice of tomato and some lettuce, just not a leaf that looks like it was cut off a banana plant.  Good tuna should have diced onions, diced pickles and miracle whip.  A fancy tuna sandwich that was popular at Ranchland hills country club in Midland was tuna on a bun, topped with sliced avocado, a slice of cheese and melted under the broiler.  It was called the “Friday Topper”.  I liked that sandwich.  I am not a fan of great huge thick sandwiches that require that you unhinge your jaw like a python in order to take a bite.  I always say if your have to have that much of  a sandwich, order two of the regular sumbitches and eat them.  That prevents you from looking like you are having your last meal before being electrocuted.  LIver wurst or Braunsweiger sandwiches are good and pretty much demand some thinly sliced onions or maybe some pickled onions.

I dont have a lunch pail anymore and havent seen any wax paper in ages but I guess maybe things would taste different anyway.  I always like to remember back to when things were simpler.  You had a choice of 3, maybe four good sandwiches and that was it.  Deli’s were not readily available in west Texas so we had lunch counters like the one at Bozeman’s.  You could get a good sandwich there, it would be aesthetically cut into a triangle and you would get some chips.  A cherry coke to drink and you were in business.

Chuy

I scan news.  There is rarely an instant where I read the whole article because most of it doesnt hold my interest.  I scan a lot of news sources.  I should stop doing that.  I should limit myself to National Geographic, and possibly Readers Digest (large print version).  All other news sources give too much information.  I have outgrown the need for too much information.

Weekly, there is a news report of an 11th grade teacher having illegal relations with a student.  Really?  I think back to my 11th grade teachers and think about how scarred I would be had that happened to me.  I was more worried about getting a date for friday nite with an age appropriate female.  I just wish they would hush these kind of reports up and not put them on national news.  I need to know if it is going to rain, if the wind is going to blow and if the price of oil has gone down or gone up.  Pretty much everything else is fluff.

My ideal newspaper would be the front page, containing a weather forecast, a price index of fossil fuels, a listing of who died and the rest of the paper should be filled with recipes that old people can easily make and enjoy.  I dont clip coupons so they can leave those out.  All car ads can vanish because I already know where to buy a car and the prices listed are never the same when you get there so that is wasted reading time.  Just good recipes, dammit.  And no recipes containing any miracle grain product of the ancient Peruvian indians that was suddenly reestablished from seeds found in a clay pot inside a burial mound.  I am not an ancient Incan and could care less what they ate.  I like mashed potaotes.  Besides, there are no ancient incans left so what they ate couldnt have been that good for them.  They should have been eating good ole sawmill gravy over some biscuits and maybe there would still be a few of them around.  Oh, and another thing, I dont care how much mercury is in tuna fish.  I cant eat enough tuna in the time I have left on this earth to make a difference in my mercury content.  I dont take fish oil pills because they make you smell like fish for the rest of the day.  I can get all the fish oil I need from a can of sardines eaten on a cracker.

Chuy

As a certified public accountant I feel that I have had the training and after 40 years in the industry, certainly the experience. to share with all of you who read this blog, the way to legally make a small fortune.  In these days where our chance to make such a fortune is shrinking daily, we have to be on our toes.  We must take the opportunity to see that we have ample funds left to cover our golden years.

Here is the simple plan:  Take a large fortune, buy a small 50 acre ranch and in no time at all you will have a small fortune.  There you go.  As simple as simple can be.

All kidding aside, we have had a blast so far actively changing our barebones hunting camp into a much more female friendly hostel.  We will keep the outhouse for nostalgic reasons and just in case an epidemic of food poison strikes but we are well on the way to having a foo-foo bathroom on site.  We will have hot water, flushing toilet and shelving for towells.  No hanging the towell over the shower door.  We did get a shock when the state septic tank inspector advised that I should pour a cup of dog food down the toilet each week to help the septic system maintain the proper degree of enzymes.  Kinda makes you wonder just exactly what you are feeding your beloved puppy?  If it will eat septic tank sludge, well the inside of your dog cant be squeeky clean now can it.  The carpenters start tomorrow and the plumber will be there Wed., electrician will be there on Sat.  It has been slow but has speeded up some now.

The latest thing of TV is this business about the airplane that is moving.  Am I the only person who watched that show ” Lost”?  That seemed a bit far fetched at the time but well, maybe, ???? That could be the reason why I watch all the survivor shows on TV.  I am currently enthralled with one entitled ” no mans land”.  This show is basically about folks who live on the edge of nowhere and live with whatever they can find, bargain or trade for.  Interesting.  They show ways to develope water systems, find food, shelter.  All things you would need to know if you were “lost”.

Warren Buffet has promised to give a person $ 1 billion dollars if they fill out a perfect final basketball schedule.  Hell, if I knew who was playing I would try.

Chuy

It has been a while since I have pontificated about anything.  I have kinda mellowed out I guess.  Can you believe that?

I finally broke down and bought hearing aids.  I told the old boy I wanted some that would allow me to hear a mouse pee on a cotton ball.  He asked why I would want to do that.  I told him an old friend, Cat Cooper could do that without the aid of a machine.  I can turn mine up with a remote control and pretty much hear the heart beats of the checker at the grocery store.  Of course it also allows you to hear some sounds that you would just as soon not hear.  I am trying to ignore casual comments by passersby.

Gay marriage is hogging the news.  I am not sure how I feel about that subject.  I do believe that everyone should have an equal shot at the tax breaks that are offered to married couples.  Maybe we ought to just let folks do as they please as long as they don’t infringe on the rights of others.  I am equally as offended by the sight of two men “soul” kissing in the drug store as I am seeing a man and woman doing the same thing.  As long as neither group is trying actively to include me in their little group groping I am pretty sure they have a right to do what they please.  Thats about all I have to say on that subject.  Too much is being made of something that really isnt a politicians business.

The Russians are acting up again and the Prez seems hell-bent in getting involved, by saber-rattling about the rights of the Ukrainians.  Hell, 5 years ago, a Ukrainian was probably shooting at our guys in Afghanistan, and now we are doing all we can to rescue them.  Prez needs to pay more attention to some of the things that make the good ole USA a dicey place to live and less time in playing “war-horse”.  Get the damned keystone pipeline dug so we can get ourselves independent from foreign oil.  Get some new bridges built so cars don’t fall in the water when they cross the Mississippi.  Help the western states reforest their lands that have been ravaged by fires.  Get some desal plants built so we don’t run out of water.  He is so high on getting the young minorities in a better position to achieve their potential, well get them some basic work skills.  A basic work skill is not the ability to recognize an undercover cop from two blocks away.  A basic work skill is the ability to go to a job at 6:30 am, work all day and at 5;00 pm asking the boss, is there is anything else that needs to be done?  Repeating this process for a few years does wonders to your ability to get ahead.

See, you get me to ranting and there is hell to pay.

The Diamond 5 C ranch is coming along nicely.  We are pouring money into this little project like Michael Anthony was knocking on our door.  Ya’ll remember ole Michael, the guy that delivered the checks for John Beresford Tipton on the “Millionaire”.  We have bought a new building, got the septic system in process, an electrician on standby, looking for a carpenter., hopefully have a plumber lined up.  Couple of more months and a shower might be available and the place will be considered “female friendly”.  We are not yet to the point where I can just go out there and sit on the porch and rock, but its, coming.  I promise.

Hopefully there will be some more meaningful things happen in the near future that will require my comments.  I do love to entice my readers so that they can comment on what I have to say.  Some do, and some dont.  More should,.  It would be like having a conversation.  It would be like texting. LMAO

Chuy the Sage