One of the things I usually do early each morning is to review the news headlines on AOL. These news bits are usually short and are teasers for the real story.  There is always a variety of news reports that either make my blood boil and on rare occasions get an u-rah.

ONE WEEK LEFT BEFORE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN:  Could it be possible to skip this whole week and get on with shutting things down.  There really doesnt exist a method for us to start over with the entire lot of knaves that inhabit Washington but we could always hope.  Congress will continue to be paid.  IRS will remain open.  Post office will continue to operate inefficienly and parts of the army will be marching on an empty stomach.  If the government shuts down, the armed forces will be paid in IOU”S.  Next they will have to buy their own ammo.

RECORD 9 MILLION PHONES SOLD LAST WEEK:  Holy Alexander Graham Bell, where in the hell have we let our civilizaion go?  No matter what telephone program you currently have, 9 million phones made APPLE a cool $ 1.8 billion last week.  That aint bad.

49’S STAR OUT AFTER DRUGS AND DUI ARREST:  But not until after he tried to play in the game Sunday.  The owner of the 49’rs has sounded tough but is he really.  How about showing some young impressionable young man or woman that there are consequences to ones actions, no matter how talented you are.  The owner should get on national TV, tear up this young mans contract, advising him that his last check will not cash and wash his hands of the whole mess.  All the other teams should send their owners to the meeting and let the hophead that he has no place in football.

MALL CRISIS ENTERS 3RD DAY:  I knew in my heart that malls were no place to go. 

BRITANY WEARS A BRA TOP IN VEGAS:  Duh!  I can only say that I am totally surprised about this whole situation.  It is a pictorial fact that she doesnt wear drawers so why in the world would she come to town wearing a bra.  Do you think she has seen the light?

MAN BEATEN UNCONSCIOUS WHILE WAITING FOR iPHONE:  I have an iphone and didnt beat anyone to get it.  I just walked into the ATT store and they practically gave the thing to me.  They begged me to take an iphone 5s, but I told them the one I had was underutililzed and had more on it than I would ever use.  I dont use the reminders app, the weather channel, stocks, or music.  I can look out my window upstairs in my office and pretty much tell the weather.  I have 3 satallite radios in cars so can listen to hits of the 50’s until i get tired of Bobby Rydell.  Hell, Corpus is cracking down on cell phone usage so there is absolutely no need for my phone to have a games app. 

I guess I ought to stop reading the news but feel that I must keep abreast of what is happening around me so that I can pack my car and get the heck out of Dodge if a bunch of people take over the mall and the army attacks the mall to rescue the walkers.

Chuy, the news hound