I have had a relationship with a family of squirrels for a while now.  I planted a pecan tree in my front yard and have never gotten a single pecan for personal use.  The squirrels have been successful in eating them all.  I have recently begun feeding them corn on the cob, which they apparently like immensely.  I have treated them well.

Yesterday, I walked out the front of the house and heard a noise from the eaves of the house.  I eventually identified the noise as an animal trying to gnaw its way out of my roof.  It had cleared a small hole in the facia board and was simply enlarging its escape route.  After a couple of shots fired at the animal he stopped his actions temporarily.  Today my first duty was to buy a live trap.  I have it baited in the attic above the garage and have a snare set over the squirrel’s normal entry hole in my roof.  The war is on.

He could have had a good life, with regular corn drops, if he had only kept his gnawing to the cob of corn that was being set out.  NOOOO, he had to start doing a bit of home remodeling.  I can only assume that he was unaware of the castle doctrine that governs killing intruders in to your home.  The castle doctine, which is Texas law, allows you to kill intruders in your home (castle).  I am withing my rights to stop this intrusion.

I have looked up several recipes for squirrel stew, fricasse, and other ways to eat squirrel.  I am not only going to kill him and his family, including any cousins, but I am going to eat them also.  Squirrel stew with a nice brown gravy, over some light as a feather biscuits, with a nice chianti, and I am good to go. 

I will report regularly as to the number of varmints I remove from the attiack and crawl space in my home.  And, if that little Korean guy keeps up his actions, well I may have to make a road trip. 

Chuy the exterminator