I just read where we, the people of the United States of America, were billed $ 585,000 for VP Joe Biden to spend one night in Paris, France.  I have been thru Paris and I do believe you could buy the entire place for slightly more than Joe spent in spending the night.  What did his minibar have in it?  What did his maid service consist of?  State officials didnt seem to think that this bill was particularly out of line based on the ammenities that were furnished and the number of folks that had to go with him.  How damned many people does it take to keep Joe from making a fool of himself?  Well, I guess I should have thought about that question a bit more.  Listen, D and I have done some traveling around Europe and we stayed in some hotels that might not let Joe in the front door and I can assure you we did not spend anywhere near that.  We stayed in a place in Berlin that had a bath butler.  All I had to do was hit the bath butler button on the phone and up pops a guy to draw my bath water, mix special soap pellets to the water and make sure it was the proper temp.  He also turned on the towel warmer so that I could dry off with a heated towel.  That cost the grand total of 25 euro.  Folks, at even today’s exchange rate, that aint $ 585,000.00.  For an extra 10 euro I could have probably cut a deal to have my bottom powdered.  Wonder why I didnt do that?  We stayed in another hotel in Germany that had a secret passageway so that we could see into the room next door.  That cost nothing extra.  We didnt use it but not sure the people from next door werent looking at us.  All I saying is, you can get some pretty darned nice sleeping arrangements for under $ 500.00 per night.  They will normally throw in a pretty good breakfast free of charge.  What did Joe have for breakfast?  Does Paris not have a Marriot Courtyard?

Chuy the disgruntled

You can go ahead and beat me, tie me down, scald me with hot water, but I have to tell you that I do not like cats.  They are sneaky, they are indescriminate in their toilet habits and generally give me the willys.  Dogs dont like cats and that is fine with me.  Dogs chase cats and I hope they catch them.

With this being said, my morning coffee and newspaper read was ruined when i read the story about the new cat bus in Corpus.  There exists a place here at the edge of town named the “Catery.  Apparently has something to do with cats.  And a lot of them.  I noticed recently that they had purchased a small used school bus.  I had been eyeing that same bus as a potential hunting vehicle/sleeping rig.  In this mornings paper it was revealed that they are refurbishing the bus so that they can make it easier to disperse adoptive cats.  Hell, does a cat need a bus token and a bus ride to get someplace?  Those damned things are everywhere.  I can only invision a cat taking the “B” over to my neighborhood to do “toilette” in my flower bed.  Do I have to come to a complete stop if I am behind the cat bus and it stops to let a rider out?  Will there be a particular cat that rides the bus forever because no one wants to adopt the thing.

I can only hope that I never see the cat bus driving down my cul de sac.  That will be where I draw the line in the sand.  That bus better have bullet proof windows cause the lead is gonna fly.

Speaking of cats.  What in the world is Tiger up to?  What is that poor girl thinking?  Does she not read the tabloids?  Does she not know that she is dating the number 1 philanderer in all of history?  She will go to the beauty shop and 12 of the 13 ladies in the shop will be women that Tiger has “known”.  That has got to be a bit disconcerting.

I have to stop now and make my grocery list.  I go to the grocery store every saturday and about 5 times during the week.  My trips are always a source of displeasure or one of humor and awe.  I almost never go without seeing someone who just absolutely stops me in my tracks.  I mean, is it really necessary to have “left and right” tatooed above your breasts?  And is the wife beater T-shirt the only top that you could wear this morning to match your shorts that have more holes in them than the package of baby swiss that I just purchased?  Has the government outlawed the use of a mirror?

Chuy, the observant

The wedding is finally over and they are enjoying the beaches of Jamaica.  It was a very, very nice affair and was enjoyed by all in attendance.  The little photog from GQ mag was kind of a pest but I finally signed the waiver about future publication of my picture and he went away.  I hate when that happens.

The bride was beautiful, the groom handsome.  Mother of the groom was gorgeous and the father of the groom was knock dead, good looking.  The ceremony was timely, well done and got the job done as well as any. 

I will be publishing some pics of the participants as soon as I get caught up with a few things.

Gary C.

I have been told that until I cross over to the dark side and start wearing Vera Wang panties that I should refrain from giving fashion advice.

With that in mind, I am off to Walmart.  I wonder, do Vera Wang come in 3XL?  Do they come in basic cotton or do I have to cross over to the nylon variety?  Dicisions, Decisions

Chuy

I am a watcher of people.  They are even more amusing than the monkeys at the zoo, except they dont pick at each other’s hair.  Mostly.  You can sit on a bench in the mall and see every kind of person that you would ever want to see.  Yes, I occasionally see myself in the window of a store.  Thats funny also.

I have noticed for a while that the jeans worn by women have taken a flashy tone.  The back pockets are adorned with large crystal the size of a lemon, surrounded by other smaller flashier stones.  Why would fashion designers all of a sudden feel that they should draw attention to the posterior area of a woman.  Some of these designs look as if the HOPE diamond is trying to get back to the crack in the earth that it was dug up from in the first place. I would assume that the jeans made from the stretchy material like pajamas would be more comfortable to wear and to set in.  I can remember as a youth, walking around with a back pocket full of marbles and I made sure I didnt sit in the wrong position.  In south Texas, there some folks that should not draw attention to that particular part of their anatomy for any reason.

Maybe we should implement a system whereby at our annual physical checkup by our doctor, we are measured, photographed, sized, compared to a chart and if any portion of our bod exceeds specificaions, well, we are simply issued a fashion pass.  This states that we are allowed to wear any old thing we own that is comfortable.  It doesnt have to be in fashion, spiffy or cutting edge.  Just comfortable.  If anyone should happen to comment on your clothing choice, just flash the pass.  Nuff said.

Chuy the fashionista