Having lost enough weight to make a difference I broke down today and went to rent the tuxedo.  I found out that I will be attired in a lovely dark gray Vera Wang creation with matching vest, white shirt, blue tie and black shoes.  The young man helping me, who just happened to have the longest fingers of any person I ever met, asked if I wanted the accoutremants?  I said, Accoutremants? and he said, underwear, etc.  I told him that I figured that Vera Wand jockey shorts would be like the old Brandon Hotel in Pecos, no ballroom.  I declined to rent the underwear.  No came the fitting.  Lord, why havent they come up with some type of exray machine that you could just walk thru and they know what size your wear.  I get pretty damned antsy when a guy with fingers as long as Kobe Bryant starts measureing my inseam.  We got it done. 

Now, here is the kicker.  While I was in this particular store, I tried on a suit.  Fit well, looked better so I purchased it.  Well turns out you buy one thing and get another free.  Picked out a nice sports coat.  Looked spiffy as a bouncer at a dance club.  Oh, if you buy more than $ 500.00 worth of stuff you get a $ 50.00 coupon and I was $ 15.00 short.  The only thing I could find was a french race car drivers hat so I got that.  That required that I get another free gift.  This was getting kinda embarrassing.  I ended up taking a shoe shine sponge and got the hell out of there.

I succeeded in turning a tuxedo rental excursion into a major shopping spree.  I am sure this wont be the last shopping trip that I have to make as still have a couple of things that I know we have to get.  I think I am gonna need a skillet and a couple of pots in order to feed the family on the morning of the wedding.

Chuy the Best Man